How I prepared for my Boudoir Photo shoot as a woman over 40

I am a naked person. I am not the nakedest person I know–but I don’t mind walking around my house without my clothes on. Since my daughters have been tweens–it did get harder–since my eldest who was basically 12 going on 40 became so exasperated with my nudity after showering that she begged me to wear a robe. No, I am not naked all the time–and I hate to be cold, and I live in Vermont. Basically I only disrobe in warmer weather (above 75 degrees)–and generally only at “normal times” to be unclothed, like getting out of the shower–or changing my clothing.  But I recently got naked in front of a camera, and it wasn’t awful. 

I know, it’s shocking. But hear me out. I bet you have heard of Boudoir Photography. Perhaps you have even had a session yourself? Just in case you are one of the 55 people left on earth that have not heard about Boudoir Photography–I am going to tell you what it is, and share my experience with Boudoir as a woman over 40.

This year marks my 45th year of life on the planet. I have been in and out of love, and certainly through my share of ups and downs–as I think we all have when we are able to reach this milestone in our lives. I have been talking about doing a boudoir shoot with my friend and former yoga studio neighbor, Amanda Young Photography, for at least a year. Well, a couple of weeks ago, it finally happened, (it was incredible!) and here is how I prepared for my photo shoot.

I bought a beautiful piece of lingerie.

I also wore my grandmother’s nightgown, and as I mentioned already–I got a little naked. I spent time before my shoot thinking about what I would be comfortable in, and I treated myself to something special and beautiful just for me. Purchasing lingerie for yourself that makes you feel exquisite for this special event is a perfect way to begin the process of celebrating your body and this moment in time. Try not to wear something that you have worn for a lover–unless, of course, you want to memorialize that special piece for them for a reason. 

What I didn’t do? Worry about the size or perkiness of my breasts in my bralette. What I did do? Make sure it fit me well and didn’t cut into my skin or squeeze my flesh in places that I would rather not be squeezed. 

What else didn’t I do? Think about how large my rear end would look in a thong, in front of a camera. What else did I do? Made sure that the undies that I selected didn’t make my butt feel huge–didn’t cut into my ample bottom, and had enough fabric to cover some parts of what I wanted to cover. (Yes, I know, I already told you I got naked–but I didn’t plan on that part of my shoot!!) 

When I prepped my moodboards, I kept coming up with old hollywood glamour shoots that I thought were so classy and beautiful. I wanted to evoke that classic feeling, and though I love something dark and moody, it wasn’t the direction that I ended up going in this shoot. My Nanas’ nightgown fit into my love of all things vintage, and I didn’t even think I would end up wearing it–but it became the piece that I took loads of photos in and I loved the way that the frothy and sheer fabric acted like a filter over my body. I warmed up to my photos in that piece, and it was easy to move into something really sultry after that gown. 

I got polished and refined, in my own way.

I didn’t hire a makeup artist. And I debated about getting acrylic nails. But I have never done acrylic nails–and when I discussed this with a girlfriend of mine–she reminded me of this fact. Her point was well taken–why would I have fake nails? I am not a fake nail person. Don’t get me wrong–I have nothing against them–I think they can be beautiful–but I didn’t need them to feel sexy in my own skin. What I did do was get my nails painted short and dark, becuase I love a short nail with dark glossy polish. I think its sexy–and it’s very “me”. The more I let “me” be a part of this photo shoot–the better it became. 

I did my own hair, in a style that I find attractive, curled, tousled, and lightly sprayed. I also did my own makeup–choosing a really light and natural look for my first set of photos and then when I changed into my sultrier lingerie, I added a darker shadow and a pop of color on my lip. I like doing my own hair and makeup–but if it were an area that I didnt feel confident in–I would 100% not do my own makeup and hair. I would hire someone. I think it’s a personal choice–and if you are wanting a fully made up face and a blowout –then by all means you should go for it–or hire a photographer that includes this as part of her service. I didn’t want it for this particular shoot–though it is something I would consider if I choose to do another boudior shoot. 

I accepted my body as it is.

This perhaps was most important and maybe a product of the post-shoot experience. In fact, it is probably the reason why you should stop saying that you need to lose 20 pounds before you do something like this. I am not saying I always love my body and always love what I look like. I think that loving the way you are–rather than wishing you were something different is a practice and you need to work at it everyday. It’s a funny thing. When I hear someone say “I love me”--my first response is “bullshit”--and then I think–”I wish I felt that way.”

I think I am still learning to love me, to treat myself with respect and care and admiration. Not because of what my body looks like–but for all of the wonderful things that my body can do, for what it accomplishes everyday and has accomplished in my life thus far. 

There will always be a roll of fat to lose, or some cellulite to get rid of. Errant hairs to shave, bumps to smooth, skin to tighten and tone. There will always be hair to smooth and curl, to color and straighten. There will be teeth to whiten and lumps and bumps that I wish were not there. I have pretty much never ever said that I love my breasts–even when they were small and perky, or when they were enormous and fed both of my daughters. But there is that saying, “You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone”...which may not really be about the love that got away–but instead about your high round booty, your silver free head of hair, or your tight smooth jawline. 

Having photos of yourself, in exactly the shape that you are, every single pound of it–is a way to create a bit of reverence around this vessel that has carried your spirit around for decades. Celebrating ones’ self does not have to belong to only to the bold and the beautiful or the young and the restless. Celebrating yourself can be an act that you engage in every single day. 

I will be right there beside you, cheering you on. 

So, there you have it!! My three top tips for preparing for your boudoir photoshoot over age 40. 

If you are thinking of getting photos taken please get out there and just DO IT! Don’t wait. There will never be a better time than right now, I promise. I will also credit about 90 percent of my comfort level with my photoshoot to my photographer–Amanda Young Photography. The way that you feel about and in front of the person that you are going to let see you in ALL THE WAYS is so important. Amanda made me feel beautiful, sexy, and completely comfortable in front of the camera. She shoots in Vermont and in NYC. Connect with her here, and tell her I sent you!

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